Follow me Email

Monday, 6 June 2016

numb

I am numb as can possibly be, what could be worse? Lining up to be given a bike, I think I am going to die. 

We start off. At least 4 kilometres later, suddenly my shoe lace starts getting tighter.  Just then I notice that my shoe lace is caught in my pedal, crash! I was really lucky I just slipped.
After my fall, I carry on and we enter the forest.  About in the middle of the forest at a damp corner, I think what the… accidentally doing a skid and I nearly fall over.

Finally a stop. But ahead of us was a deep drop. Shaking with fear, sweaty hands holding the brakes, I slowly went down, down, and down till I reached the bottom.

 After that I stopped panicking.  I knew it, it was bmxing. At once I was feeling confident. I just noticed that this would be the last test. By the end of it I was thinking to myself, thank goodness and I was  totally tired but just when I almost reached my cabin I heard “Okay free time!” Noooooooo.
———————————————————————
I was learning to write in the present tense for example do not use ed or was,  and to show emotion. Also  my goal was to hook the reader in. My hook makes the reader want to keep reading because it is dramatic. I showed emotion with words like ‘sweaty hands’. My next step is to use more punctuation and make sure I know what my goals are when I'm writing.

 










































No comments:

Post a Comment